The Family That Almost Was
by Ellixer
Summary: The life of a burgeoning family. Bits and pieces of a family that never really got to be one.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Family That Almost Was

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: After Xena gets pregnant, before she gives birth. Quiet moments.

She's laying there, eyes darting back and forth under her eyelids. Even now, with a life inside of her, the nightmares come in the night. I lay my hand on her swollen stomach. Every time I do this, it reminds me of my own child. But I also think of this unborn baby. I feel it's a part of me too, I love it just as if it were mine. Our family is growing, its nothing we had planned on.

Her pulse is becoming quicker. Leaning close to her ear I whisper.

'Shhh, everything is ok. I'm here Xena. "

She doesn't know how often I do this for her. Her pulse begins to slow. The nightmares are fading again; she'll be able to sleep a little longer. She mumbles, too low for me to hear. I settle down on my side, facing her. The fire light makes her skin sparkle and dance. She's only become more beautiful in these passing months, and her skin so much softer. I brush the hair back from her forehead, kissing the exposed skin. She tastes of salt.

'Gabrielle.' Xena mumbles, beginning to stir.

"Shh. You don't have to get up yet Xena.' My fingers trace across her jawline.

"Mmm." Is her only response.

'You know Xena, we should head to the hot springs. It could really relax you."

'Mmm, sounds like a plan, but only if you give me a massage.' She smirks, never opening her eyes.

'Promise.'

'You know what I could really use right now?' She looks at me grinning.

'A large animal cooking over the fire?'

'Well yes that does sound good, but no.'

'What then?' Even though I'm sure I get what she's trying to say, I ask anyway; I just to like hear her to say it.

'Hmm, you.' Her smile turns mischievous.

'I'm right here.' I say, sweeping my arm out as if to prove that.

'Did I ever tell you how much I love your hair?'

'Flattery will get you anywhere you want.' We grin at each other as I lean towards her lips. I just lightly kiss her, knowing this will frustrate the Hades out of her. Then I jump up and stretch. 'Come on Xena, we should get moving.' I smile as I hear the grumblings and mumblings she begins to emit.

'Ok, maybe we can rest one more day.' I drop back down next to her, a wicked grin on my face. She attempts to scowl but is having a hard time fighting her own smile.

'You're mean. Teasing a pregnant woman.' Her lips purse, eyebrow cocks up. I find that so cute. I shrug at her.

'Do you think she can hear us?' I caress her stomach again. I'm just mesmerized, knowing there's a life in there.

'I hope not.' Her face scrunches up at the thought.

'What, something she shouldn't hear?' I laugh. Xena looks at me surprised.

'That time you wanted to be the slaver and me the slave.' She looks down rubbing her belly. 'I'm not sure that's something I want my baby to hear.' I can't help it, I fall over giggling uncontrollably.

'If I remember, that was your idea.' Xena just scowls at me. I do my best serious face. 'Yes of course, very bad.' I nod my head fervently.

'Don't mock me.' She's still scowling.

'Aww is my warrior princess upset.' I tickle her belly, but she swipes my hands away.

'Yes.' She says this with a completely straight face, eyebrow cocked up.

'Im sorry.' I kiss her cheek. A smile spreads across her face. 'You know you're beautiful.' I say softly, kissing her cheek again.

'I'm fat.' She grumbles.

'You're beautiful.' I insist. I try to tell her this every day. She may be a warrior but she is still a woman. A woman with ever changing hormones; sometimes its scary. Finally she smiles at me.

'Now about that animal?'


	2. Chapter 2

She's sitting on the furs, just the barest of undergarments on, sighing and rubbing her stomach. Her skin is still glistening with water. I can't help but hesitate a moment and just look at her. Then she burps rather loudly and I'm not quite as mesmerized as I was., With a flask of oil in my hand, I kneel down behind her.

'That's not the smelly stuff is it?' She doesn't like to smell 'pretty.'

'Don't worry. Smell free.' I pour a little in my hand, offering it to her to verify the non smelliness. She just nods approval. 'You know Xena, it's ok to smell good sometimes.'

'Gives you away to the enemy.' She grumbles. I just grin, rubbing the oil into her skin and massaging the knots that seem to populate her back.

'You should really let me fight more.'

'I've got a handle on it.' She dismisses my statement in seconds. I stop what I'm doing, standing up to look at her.

'You don't trust me?' At what point will she have faith in my abilities?

'It's not that?'

'Then what is it?' She looks around as if physically looking for an answer.

'I trust you, of course I do.' It's a lie and it's obvious. I throw my hands up in exasperation.

'Xena, am I a part of your family or not?'

'Of course you are.' She struggles up to her feet reaching out to me, but I keep my distance.

'Then why do you still treat me like a sidekick?' A simple question that should have a simple answer.

'I don't know.' She practically whispers. Not the simple answer I was looking for. I sigh, might as well give up for now. Why argue with a pregnant woman?

'Gabrielle wait.' There's a pained look on her face. 'I don't rely on people, it's not what I do.'

'But Xena.' She puts her hand up, stopping me mid sentence.

'But you're not just anybody.' She looks away for a second. 'I'm afraid for my baby, I'm afraid for you.' Her eyes are beginning to water, a tear or two manages to fall. I give up my stubbornness moving towards her, wiping the tears that are staining her cheeks.

'Xena, it's ok.'

'No it's not.' She grasps my hand with both of hers. 'You are my family, I love you. I should rely on you more than I do, but it takes time.'

'Xena I just want to be able to protect you and the baby.' I shake my head at her.

'I know, and I love you for that.' Her hand caresses my face and she looks intently at me. 'I promise to try harder.' I sigh and stare at her a moment.

'Sit down so I can finish.' She looks confused. 'Come on, sit down.' I smile and help her back down, then pour some more oil into my hands. 'Now give me your arm.' She holds it out to me. Starting from her shoulder I run my fingers down her arm, applying just enough pressure to relieve any tension. Her eyes close, a sigh parts her lips. 'Good?'

'Uh huh.' Her head nods but her eyes remain closed.

Sometimes I wonder whenever Ares pops up; will she accept his advances? Could I lose all this to the God of War? I trust her, I do, but sometimes she doesn't seem so certain about him. I don't really question it but, I still worry. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

'What?' Xena's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

'Huh?'

'Whats wrong?' I contemplate whether or not I actually want to tell her. Avoiding her eyes I act focused on her arm. 'Gabrielle?' Her hand tilts my chin up to face her.

'Xena, do you love Ares?' She gasps and sputters, face widening with surprise.

'What!?'

'It's just sometimes I don't think you hate him as much as you say.'

'Gabrielle that's crazy, it's _Ares_.' Ares; that should be explanation enough shouldn't it? I simply shrug. 'He's an egomaniacal ass. Why, why, why.' She's sputtering, apparently unable to find the words to finish her statement.

'Well I mean if you do..' She grasps my shoulders, shaking me slightly. Her grip is tight and a little painful.

'Are you insane!? Did you eat something, are you sick?' She looks me up and down with a crazed look in her eyes.

'It's just a question.' I'm pretty sure if I try to move she'll pull my arms off. I like my arms, they can be pretty useful. Confusion begins to replace the crazed look.

'Gabrielle I..I..' She looks up as if asking the Gods for help. 'Everything we've been through, I could never..' She trails off, looking slightly hurt.

'Sorry, it was just a question.'

'A stupid question!' She spits out. Xena struggles to her feet and begins to rummage for her clothes. I lean back on my elbows, just watching. I'm suddenly knocked over when a bundle hits my face.

'Here. It was going to be a surprise, but since I seem to hate you so much.' She's angrily pulling on her clothes, mumbling to herself. I'm a bit shocked but I untie the bundle. 'I got it at the last town. I thought you might like it.'

'Xena its beautiful.' I stand, letting the dress unfurl from the bundle. Xena is still grumbling and mumbling. I try to touch her shoulder but she shrugs my hand off. Like I said, never argue with a pregnant woman.

'Look Xena, I'm sorry.' No response. 'You're my best friend first and foremost. I just want to make sure your happy.' Her jaw is clenching like crazy. 'It's beautiful, thank you.' I can't seem to get a truce called. She turns, an evil look spreading across her face.

Crap.

Xena suddenly advances on me, shoving me roughly against a tree.

'Xena..' I don't get a chance to finish, her mouth crushes against mine. She bites my lip, thrusts her tongue in my mouth, and basically tries to suck the life from me. When I think I'm about to pass out she pulls away. My lips red and slightly sore.

'Don't ever ask me that again.' Her eyes scan my body briefly before she stomps off.

'So I'll just cook something then.' I call after her because that is the only thing that seems to come to my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

How does one say sorry to a very moody warrior? I might be able to get away with flowers, but only because she's pregnant and not rational. Wait I know, find and kill the biggest game they have out here. She _is_ always hungry.

I hear crashing and thrashing through the bushes. I know it's Xena, but I don't know if she's going to kill me or not. Just act cool. Stir the stew and act like I don't hear her.

'Gabrielle.' Turning I see Xena standing with her sword out, chest heaving. She comes rushing over to me, crushing me in a hug. 'I'm sorry.'

'Umm.'

'I'm sorry I shouldn't have got so angry.' Her hand is rubbing up and down the back of my head.

'You don't have to be sorry Xena, it's my fault.' I smile a little.

'You're always so forgiving.' Well this mood swing is rather drastic. She's probably hungry.

'Umm the food is done.'

'Thank the Gods, I'm starving.' She lets me go, rubbing her hands together and licking her lips. Note to self, keep Xena fed.

I grab a bowl, dishing a massive amount of stew into it. She snatches it out of my hands and begins shoveling it into her mouth.

'Xena, you should slow down before you choke.' Immediately she stops, looking at me embarrassed. Slowly she lowers the bowl and makes exaggerated slow spoonful's. I grab my forehead, wondering if she's going to be a little more normal now. Either way I should probably apologize. I need some armor for this.

'I'm sorry for asking you about Ares.' Her eyes narrow but she keeps eating. 'I know it's crazy, I guess I just get a little insecure sometimes.' She sighs, the movement of her spoon stops.

'If I ever take you for granted, tell me.' Her spoon resumes its up and down movement. I sit down next to her, laying my head on her shoulder. At least she seems calmer now.

As soon as she finishes, Xena lays down again. She's asleep within seconds. I'm pretty sure that baby is coming sooner rather than later, and I'm betting someone will be trying to kill us at that very moment too. If anything, this baby will not have a boring life, if we can manage to stay alive long enough.

I grab some parchment and my quill and begin to write, more for myself than anything else.

_I wonder; is this the sort of adventure that people will tell? The one without the battles and death. Just two people living their life. Do people want to know the faults of their heroes? Find out these superhuman beings are just as fragile as everyone else? I could write about a hero that is never makes a mistake but that would be a lie. I'd rather write about the bond, the eternal trust and faith that two people can have._


	4. Chapter 4

'The beautiful princess was woken by a kiss from a gallant prince.' Eve giggles in my arms as I gently rock her back and forth. A bandit goes flying by, smashing against a tree. Eve giggles even more. 'You are your mothers child.' I rub her cheek with my finger. '_Yes you are, yes you are_.' It takes a minute before the bandit scrambles to his feet and runs off.

'Hey, I was just getting started!' Xena yells after him, three other bandits retreat as well. Eve fusses in my arms.

'Hey, I think your daughter is hungry.' I lift Eve up and kiss her nose before handing her over to Xena. She exposes her breast, letting the baby suckle with content. I rub Eve's fuzzy head, smiling. Babies are so cute, especially this one. 'I think she has your appetite.' I chuckle. Xena just shrugs.

'Speaking of, where's breakfast?'

'We need to go to a market, all we have is some bread and cheese.' I rummage around in my sack, holding the contents up for her to see. I toss them in a bowl and hand it to her as she sits down, juggling both Eve and the food. I begin packing the camp up, humming to myself as I work, then something comes to me.

'Xena what you said about Ares yesterday.' She sighs as loud as possible.

'I thought we were finished with this?'

'No, really. Are you sure it wasn't because you wanted too…..?' I narrow my eyes at her. I'm not quite as serious as I'm trying to pretend. She makes an aggravated face at me as she shifts Eve in her arms, covering her bare chest back up.

'Gabrielle. It wasn't him it was the..you know…act.' I raise my eyebrow at her. 'Hey it's been awhile and a girl has needs.'

'Xena, it hasn't been that long.' I laugh as she scowls at me.

'For me, it is too long.'

'Well maybe you shouldn't use your body as a weapon?'

'Hey! As long as it works I will do it.'

'What about when you're old and saggy?'

'I will never be saggy!' She declares, trying not to startle the baby. I attempt to stifle my grin but I'm finding that very difficult. She purses her lips at me, then promptly begins to sniff around. She holds Eve up smelling her butt immediately making a face.

'Umm I've gotta go pack Argo.' I hurry away as quick as possible. Ha! I already changed a diaper this morning, and Xena is not going to get out of it.

Evening comes around as we begin to set up camp near a stream. Xena refused to stay at a tavern, even though I did the best begging I could think of. She did at least restock our supplies so I don't have to starve; she still insisted on hunting for something. Xena just likes to hunt and kill things. I swear, the joy she gets from it kind of creeps me out sometimes.

Eve sits between my legs, her little tiny hands grasping my fingers. I'm trying to think of a story to tell that doesn't have violence in it, I'm not sure I know one. Every time I think of something there's a battle involved. I didn't realize children's stories could be so hard.

'Ok, how about this. There once was a horse who… liked to eat apples. And….loved to run free about the countryside. Hmm where am I going with this?' I tickle Eve's tummy, eliciting a wave of giggles. 'Ok… there once was a princess named Xena, who traveled around kicking butt.' Eve giggles and coos. Hmm, definitely Xena's child.

'I do kick butt don't I?' Xena come walking out of the trees, an amused look on her face.

'You know, she only seems to respond to stories of you fighting.'

'What can I say.' She shrugs dropping two rabbits. I just shake my head, tickling Eve again.

Xena's movement stops. I know there's something wrong, and she knows exactly what it is. I hate when moments like these are ruined. What is with today anyway? I can hear them before I see them; a rain of arrows is coming straight for us. She screams out my name, throwing her chakram into the air. There's only one thing for me to do. Leaning over I cover Eve's body with mine. If any arrows make it through, I will not let one hit her.

I'm not sure how long we stay like this. The clashing of sword against sword seems to all but surround us. I want to move, pull Eve to safety, but I can't seem to get up. Xena is yelling my name over and over, but I can't get up and help. The sound of retreating feet replaces battle noise. I finally fall to my side. Eve is covered in blood, and for a moment I check her franticly trying to find the wound, but there is none.

Xena's hands grab my body, at this moment the pain hits me and I realize all the blood is mine.

'Xena…. Eve.' I don't know if there are more people out in the woods, but I know Xena needs to get the baby to safety. She scrambles for a moment, stripping Eve of her clothes. I can hear her sigh in relief as she hugs Eve to her body.

'Is she ok?' I gasp out, the pain just to breathe is nearly too much. This is not good.

'It's you I'm worried about.' Her fingers probe my back checking my wounds.

'What is it?'

'Two arrows.' She pauses trying to check the front of my body. ' This one is the problem.' She says, almost to herself. I don't know which she is talking about because it's one big pain to me. 'You're going to be fine.' I think she is just trying to convince herself.

'Well…..' I know what needs to be done; this is going to get worse before it gets better. I just hope none of those arrows were poisonous. Been there, done that. Xena's hands are on my back again.

'You ready?'

'As I'll ever be.' The pain becomes excruciating, it feels as if there will be no end to it and my entire body is burning. The whole of me is screaming, I don't realize that I am screaming as well. Things go black for a moment, everything fades. It doesn't last long though, as she begins to cauterize the wounds, eliciting a whole new jolt of pain.

'Aaggghh!' I can't stop the scream of pain that bursts forth. She cradles me in her arms, kissing the top of my head.

'Shhhh, it's going to be ok.' Her body is rocking back and forth. My breathing is beginning to come in gasps.

'Well we've been here before haven't we?' I manage a weak smile.

'And we always make it out.' She's pressing her lips to my cheek. Eve begins to cry.

'Go.' She hesitates to move. 'Go, I'll be fine.' It takes a moment before she gently puts me down, making her way to her baby. If anything I did my job, she's at least safe for one more night.


	5. Chapter 5

I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm something that I can't describe. Eve's crying sounds loud and harsh in my ears, I want so badly for it to stop.

'Xena. Why do I feel like Tartarus?' I can't see her, but her voice comes from somewhere behind me.

'You have a fever, and your wound is infected.'

'So no poison this time?' I hear her chuckle a little.

'No, you just need some rest. I've put a poultice on your wounds.' I feel her fingers prod at the bandages, followed by her lips on my forehead. She sits Eve down next to me, the little thing as cute as ever. Her tiny fingers tangle in my hair, drool bubbles on her lips.

'I think we should get her some armor.' I joke.

'Maybe you should if you plan on being a human shield.'

'A job I'd be proud of.'

'I was thinking.' She pauses.

'What?'

'Lets head home for a little bit. My mother can see Eve and you can see your family.'

'I want my family to see Eve too.' She sighs at me.

'Are you sure that's a good idea?'

'She's a baby Xena, how can they hate a baby?'

'And the fact you'll be going back with fresh wounds will really make them happy.' I rub Eve's plump cheek a moment.

'You're my family. They may never accept that, but I want to give them a chance.' I love my parents but I will not sacrifice my love for Xena and Eve just to pacify them.

'Whatever you want.' I can hear the grin in her voice.

It takes another day before I'm able to travel. I had to force Xena to get us moving, she would have preferred another few days rest. It's only a few days more to Potedia after that. We were close to begin with, so this detour is not out of the way per say. I'm getting nervous the closer we get though. I want my parents to accept them, but my father especially is not quick to change his ways. It's night when we reach the farm. I try to convince Xena to wait till morning, but she doesn't want to delay the inevitable.

'If they kick us out we can always sleep outside.' Xena shrugs at me. 'That's probably where I'll have to sleep anyway.' She mumbles under her breath, but still loud enough for me to hear. We stand outside the house, both of us not really ready. I attempt to re-center myself, gathering the courage to face my family. Finally I manage to make my way to the door, knocking too lightly to really be heard. I pause then I knock again, a little louder this time but just as weak. Mumbling comes from within, it's my father.

Steady.

The door flies open, the man on the other side is first annoyed then surprised. He smiles throwing his arms around me but stiffens when he notices Xena behind me.

'Who is it?' My mother waddles to the door. A look of shock greets me. She reaches out to touch my face, wondering if I'm real. 'Your hair.' She says quietly. I'm trying not to cry, it's been so long since we've seen each other. I grab her in the tightest hug I can manage, wincing from the pain I'm causing myself. My mother notices, pushing back from me, eyes taking stock.

'It's nothing.' I say before she can ask. Her eyes question me, but she says nothing. I step away from them, moving back to where Xena stands. 'Mom, dad, I'd like you to meet someone.' Xena lets me take Eve in my arms, my mother is immediately running over with a gasp. 'This is Eve.'

'Is she…?' I can tell a million scenarios are running through my mothers mind.

'No she's Xena's.'

'She's ours.' Xena interjects, putting an arm around my shoulder. Again I can see the wheels turning in my mothers head. I look up to see my fathers reaction, but he's left the doorway and has disappeared. My mother reaches out a tentative hand, but stops and looks at me asking for permission. I nod, smiling. Her hand rub's Eve's head.

'Can I hold her?' I look to Xena, who simply smiles. My mother puts her arms out, taking the little bundle against her bosom. 'She's so beautiful.' She whispers in amazement.

'It was all Xena's work.' My mother looks up at me for a second, then towards the warrior at my side.

'Frankly I always thought you would get my daughter killed….. again.'

'Well..' I give Xena a glare to stop the confession. They do not need to know how many times I have or nearly have died. These are details we can keep to ourselves. My mother looks at me, her eyes narrow and face becomes much more stern.

'Are you happy?' She asks.

'Yes. She's like a daughter to me.' Xena gives my shoulder a small squeeze. My mother looks back and forth between us. Her eyes are still narrow but her face softens somewhat. She looks down at Eve and sighs.

'Your father will never accept this. But I can't lose my daughter. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. It's all a mother can ask for.' Her gaze remains on Eve who has fallen asleep to her gentle rocking. 'And a grandchild.' She gasps. 'I will treat her as if she's blood. Give her anything she wants.' I let out a rush of air I hadn't noticed I was holding. Relief washes over me.

'Do you plan on settling down?' This question directed at Xena. We both stand in silence and that is answer enough for my mother. 'You can't possibly raise a child out there on the road.' She tries to keep her voice quiet but it still comes out harshly. She's looking at us as if we are the worst people in the world.

'Can we talk about this tomorrow?' I'm too tired to go into deep discussions with her right now. Again she sighs.

'We have a spare room you can stay in. Your father isn't going to like this but I'll take care of him.' She stares at us a moment longer, shaking her head before she turns towards the house, Eve still in her arms. Xena and I exchange worried looks but follow without a word. She leads us to the room that used to be for storage. It's not small, but it's not large either.

'I had hope that one day you would come visit with your family.' She looks at us. 'This isn't exactly what I was thinking but…..' She shakes her head again handing Eve back to me. 'Ill go dig out the bassinet from when you were a baby.' She walks away without another word. Xena and I stare at each other a moment.

'Well that went better than expected.' Xena grabs Eve from my arms and sits on the bed.

'There's still my dad. He might come murder us in our sleep.' I'm only half joking. My father has a bit of a temper. 'I'll go grab our things and get the horses settled.' I give her a small smile as I leave.

It takes longer than I expected, when I return to the room Xena is breast feeding. A bassinet sits in the corner looking freshly cleaned. I drop our things on the floor and latch the door behind me. I'm tempted to nail it shut. Carefully I peel my clothes off, the movement hurting as I've done too much today. I can feel Xena's eyes on me.

'I'll put some new bandages on when I'm done.' I shrug, not really caring at the moment. My fathers voice is booming from their room. My mothers attempts to quiet him aren't working. I went to go see Lila but she was asleep when I looked in on her. She'll probably be upset with me in the morning for not waking her, but she'll get over it quickly.

I sit back down, not bothering to put a top on. Xena lays a sleeping Eve in the bassinet, gazing at her child in wonderment. Her enemies would never believe the love she is capable of. She moves, crouching down in front of me. Her hand cups my cheek as she gives me a small smile.

'You ok?' I lean into her touch.

'Yeah.' I don't feel like talking about it right now. Xena stands back up and begins to rummage through the saddle bag. In a few minutes she has the supplies she needs, returning to her crouch in front of me. Her fingers delicately inspect the wounds on my chest.

'You need to rest more.' She applies the last bandage then positions herself behind me, fingers working diligently again. 'But they're getting better.' She applies the bandages but her fingers linger, tracing the line of my spine.

'You know I love you right?' Her arms wrap around me, her chin rests on my shoulder.

'Of course.' She whispers. 'You don't think they'd be able to scare me away?' I just shrug a little. 'They may never accept us, but they may learn to live with it.' She kisses the space behind my ear. 'I'll always stand by you as long as you want.'

'Eternity?' I whisper turning my neck to look into her eyes.

'Eternity.' She whispers back, her lips meet mine in a delicate kiss. 'Come on, you need to rest.' We move up the bed and I curl against her as her fingers play in my hair. I can feel her thinking, but I'm not sure of what. Her warmth and embrace quickly lulls me to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Note: To all those leaving me reviews on all my stories, I Love You!

The sun is high when I wake, the room empty and quiet. I can't decide if this a good thing or bad. My body hurts, it takes me a minute just to sit up. Every movement is excruciatingly slow. Somehow I manage to stand and find clean clothes sitting on a chair. It's a loose top and a small skirt. I'm sure it was Xena's insistence that I wear these, something loose against my wounds. I finish lacing the top as the door opens.

'I was wondering if you were still alive.' My sister stands there with a big grin.

'Xena usually doesn't let me sleep in.' I take stock of my sister, so much older than the last time I saw her. I wrap my arms around her and hug.

'I can't believe you didn't wake me up last night?' She exclaims holding me at arms length. I smirk at her.

'So I guess you know everything now?'

'I don't know about everything.' Her arms cross in front of her chest. 'Am I to believe that you and Xena….?'

'Yes.' I nod. 'I love her.' Why is this so hard for people to understand? The Amazons would embrace such things. But then my family is not from the Amazons. Lila is standing there scrutinizing me.

'Well I always wondered.'

'What?'

'I've gotten to read some of your scrolls. You don't leave much out do you?'

'Well….' I grin at her. She holds her hand up.

'I don't want to know. When I've seen you together I think I knew.' Smiling she shakes her head. 'I'm glad you're home.' We regard each other for a moment longer

'Where is everyone anyway?'

'Outside.' She nods her head and leads the way out the door. The sun is bright and piercing in the sky, but luckily it's not hot. A cool breeze wafts by every now and then. Eve is sitting on a blanket playing with a wooden horse. My mother is sitting on a chair near the door just watching.

'Where's Xena?'

'Oh you're up, how are you feeling?' She gazes up at me.

'Ok, a little sore I guess. Where's Xena?' I don't see her anywhere.

'She went hunting, insisted on it actually. I don't think she wanted to push herself on us.' Her gaze moves back to Eve who's babbling away. I walk over to her, picking the plump child up in my arms.

'Mother, if you can't handle Xena being here..'

'No Gabrielle.' She cuts me off. 'It will take time but I know how much she means to you.'

'Where's dad?' My mother sighs, looking off into the distance.

'He went to town first thing. I don't think he'll be back. At least not for a few days.' My face drops. Deep down I knew he would react like this, but I had hope that he would surprise me and be decent.

'So how do you like your new niece?' I change the subject, shifting my attention back to Lila.

'She's beautiful Gabby.'

'Well I had nothing to do with it.' I sit Eve back down, the pain becoming a little too much.

'You obviously love her as if she's yours.'

'Of course.' I'm not sure how I could feel otherwise, it seems impossible to me. 'But I'm not her mother.' A tinge of sadness hits me. Is this the closest to my own child that I will ever get? No one speaks so I ease myself down on the blanket next to Eve.

'Gabrielle.' My mothers voice is soft but full of concern. 'Is this really how you plan on living?'

'What do you mean?'

'I can come to accept this thing with Xena,' she sighs. ' But is this really how you plan on raising a child?'

'Its not a thing mother.'

'That's beside the point.' I'm not sure how to answer, it's a complicated issue.

'We're doing what's best.' It's not like I wouldn't like to settle, have a home to go to, but our lives don't allow for normalcy. I look at Eve a moment. Not all children have the God's after them either. My mother sighs, giving up for the moment.

'Are you hungry?' She stands from her chair. I hadn't realized but I'm starving. I look up at my mom giving her a small smile and nod. 'I'll get you something to eat.' She walks off, disappointment etched in her face.

'I'm sure you have your reasons.' Lila says, sitting down to play with Eve.

'What about you, when are you going to have a family?' I want to change the subject, shift away from this topic. Lila smiles shyly.

'Well there is someone.'

'What? Who?'

'He's really sweet and he loves me.' Her face blushes slightly.

'I'm so happy for you!'

'What's going on?' Xena's voice is suddenly behind me. I try to twist to look at her, but it feels as if my wounds want to rip open.

'Lila has a sweetheart.' Xena chuckles, coming into view. A stag is draped across her shoulders.

'Get enough sleep?' Her face changes, concern replacing the mirth.

'Yeah. Thanks.'

'My pleasure.' She grins walking off towards the barn. I wonder if my family can truly accept the life I've chosen. They blame Xena for everything that's happened to me, but I made my own decisions, many times defying Xena's orders.

Everyone seems to spend the day tip toeing around. No real questions or deep conversations held. No one seems to stay in the same room for very long. I'm uncomfortable with this awkward dance, but it's better than yelling and death threats. Night comes slowly with a storm in tow.

'So?' I sit on the edge of the bed, watching Xena bathe Eve in a basin of water. She gives me a brief glance.

'What?' She starts making baby noises at her daughter.

'Are you ok with all this? I've been worried about my family but….. I haven't thought about how this would make you feel.' She sighs, picking up Eve and holding her against her chest.

'If I can survive battles against the God's, I think I can handle this.' I lay out a small blanket on the bed; she gently places the baby down. Eve wraps her hand around my finger.

'Xena I…'

'If I'm that easily scared away then you deserve better.' She rubs my cheek a few times then turns back to dressing Eve. I rub my shoulder; the muscle where the arrow hit is screaming in pain and tight as a bowstring. Xena picks Eve up and places her in the bassinet. I sigh as I lay back on the bed. A few minutes later Xena is next to me, laying on her side in her camisole. Her fingers play idly on my stomach.

'Your family has never liked me.' Her voice is low and soft. I turn my head towards her. 'Hasn't stopped me and it hasn't stopped you all these years.' She can always make me smile. Deep down I'm thankful that Perdicus died. I feel really guilty, but I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't be this person I am now. And by the God's I love her so much more. I loved him, but it was such an innocent young love, a first time love.

'Stop thinking.' Xena whispers in my ear, her hand flattens against my stomach as her lips meet my neck. My hand snakes behind her head, directing her lips to mine.

'I was thinking about you.' I whisper against her lips. She grins.

'I'm right here.' I take her bottom lip in my mouth, pulling on it slightly. Our tongues tangle in an intimate dance. Xena pulls away after a minute, eyes gleam down at me. 'Hey, you're not healed enough yet.' She gives a small smile, brushing hair off my forehead. I wish there was a way to show my family this side of Xena. They refuse to see the good in what used to be bad.

'Just a little.' I plead, my hand slides down her back.

'And what's a little?' She smirks.

'When I say stop.' I begin kissing her lips gently, just small pecks.

'You won't say stop.' She moves closer, our tongues meeting once again. Her hand slides across my stomach, down my hip till she grabs my ass. My hands are slowly hitching up her camisole, revealing firm curves that are begging to be touched. Her hand hooks my thigh, forcing it out. She breaks the kiss and looks down watching her hand work.

Fingers trail across my skin, down my thigh and back up. My breath hitches with each movement. I want her lips again but she's intent on the show she's putting on. She's teasing me with touches.

'Xena.' I gasp, my hands grabbing at the bed in frustration. She gives in, lips tease against mine. Her hand leaves and I'm missing the touch instantly. But it comes back, sliding down my arm to my hand, her fingers tangle in mine. She brings our hands to rest on my stomach. The kissing is beginning to leave me gasping; but when she moves to my neck, nipping at the skin, I'm left breathless.

'Xe…' I can't seem to get her whole name out in between the groans she eliciting. My tongue licks across my lips, missing the touch of her lips against mine. Our fingers untangle and this time she makes no detour, going straight to the one place I need them most, sliding under the material of my skirt. My hips jerk as her fingers begin a slow rhythm in and out, building up momentum and force.

She captures my mouth once again, but I'm left gasping into her unable to reciprocate. Soon her hand has built up a mad rhythm and my body is screaming out. I try to hold out longer, enjoying the feeling and not wanting it to leave. Xena has left me no choice, I can't hold on any longer. I give in, an explosion setting off in my body. I let out a deep low groan, trying not to be loud.

'Stop.' My voice sounds gravely in my ears. Xena grins down at me, removing her fingers and sliding across my thigh. Her eyebrow cocks up.

'Well if you insist.' She kisses and sucks at my neck a minute longer making me desperate for more. 'Come on, lets change your bandages.' She says as she pulls away, easing me up. This is not what I was hoping for.


	7. Chapter 7

The Family 7

My mother is beginning to talk to Xena as if she were a normal person. We all sit down to meals and have conversations and laugh. I have yet to see my father's face since he left, it's been days now with not even a word. I try not to think about it and just live in the peace of the moment.

The day is cold with a steady rain coming down, but it does not feel gloomy. Xena is playing with Eve in front of the fire, holding her up and blowing on her stomach eliciting a wave of giggles. Lila has gone, most likely to see her new sweetheart. Mother is sitting in her chair watching Xena. I wonder if seeing Xena as a mother has changed her views? There is more to her then being a warrior, though I may be the only one who knows that. Xena stands up with Eve in her arms, making a face as she looks at me.

'Are babies supposed to smell this bad.' I giggle a little as she walks off, talking to Eve as she goes. As soon as she leaves I turn back to my mother.

'I appreciate what you and Lila are doing.'

'Oh dear.' She sighs. 'I do see some good in her. I know, deep down, that you wouldn't be with her if there wasn't something, but I also know, in the end she will hurt you.'

What can I say to this? The fact is Xena has hurt me, but I'm sure I've done the same to her. But we always come back to one another, through death and torment we refuse to be separated. Maybe not everyone feels that kind of love, maybe my mother has never felt that.

'Do you love dad?' She looks at me surprised.

'Of course.'

'Would you fight an army just to see him?' She thinks I'm crazy, I can tell.

'Why would I have to do that?' She's trying to dismiss the question.

'Just to see him one more time, would you battle your way through a contingent of soldiers?' She doesn't answer, but I know what it is. No, she wouldn't. She's still looking at me confused, unsure of where I'm going with this. I shift in my chair a little and lean forward. 'I would fight Hades himself to see Xena for just one minute, and she would do the same for me. If she dies, a part of me dies that I can never get back. I will spend eternity with her.' My mother's face drops, then she almost seems angry but doesn't say a word. She turns toward the fireplace, her back to me, stiff and unyielding. She could never possibly understand, and I think it's time I realized that.

The day turns silent yet again, the night bringing only the noise of crickets and owls. My mother actually never says a word after the conversation; she seemed to avoid all eye contact with me. I find myself lying back on the bed wondering if when we leave anything will have changed. I hear Eve make a few noises in her bassinet, then she goes quiet again. I get up and check on her, just in case.

'There was someone once.' Her voice startles me, causing me to jump. I turn towards my mother who stands at the door.

'What?'

'When I was young, there was a boy whom I loved with all my heart.' I move closer to her as I see the pain of remembrance in her eyes. 'I would have followed him to the ends of the earth.'

'What happened?' It's obviously not my father, but my mother never spoke of anyone else before. I place a hand on her arm in an attempt to comfort her.

'He drowned.' She can't seem to look up, the whole time staring down at her feet.

'I'm sorry.' I want to give her a hug, but her posture says she's not finished.

'I would have done anything to get him back. Part of me still mourns for him, and I wonder when I pass to the other side if it will be him or your father waiting for me.' Finally she looks up, eyes wet with unshed tears. 'I understand.' Her voice gets softer. 'I love you, and if you love Xena then so will I.' I wrap her in a hug at a loss for words, tears coming to my own eyes. All I hoped for was acceptance, for my mother to welcome both me and Xena with open arms.

I pull back, attempting to wipe away my tears. My mother looks at me with a genuine smile, holding my hands in hers.

'I love you Gabrielle.' She reaches up touching my cheek, then turns and walks away. I just stand there a moment, unsure if this truly happened.

'Hey what's wrong.' Xena walks up, her head craned down to try and look in my eyes. She begins to wipe the tears from my cheek. 'Why are you crying?'

'It's happy tears Xena.' I manage a smile, but she's not convinced. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling myself in close to her. Her chin rests on the top of my head. 'Me and my mother I think have settled things between us."

'How do you mean?'

'She understands.' What more can I say, this alone speaks volumes.


	8. Chapter 8

The Family 8

Across the fire Eve and Xena are sitting next to each other, talking and filling in the gaps that time has caused. Once all the evil is gone, she's a good kid. The contrast is extreme, but it was the same with Xena. Eve seems to have this childish quality about her though. It's almost as if she's half Xena and half me when I was young. But she's so much smarter and stronger than I could ever be. It's weird, she's not that much younger than I am right now. Of course I should really be like 20 years older.

I can hear fractured strings of their conversation, but I'm not really paying attention. A part of me is angry that Xena killed me, _yes_ she did kill me. She was trying to save her daughter, I don't blame her, but a part of me feels betrayed. She took no pause or thought, she aimed for the kill and I was the mark.

She hasn't said anything about what happened; I suppose she feels justified, and in the end we were healed. I don't hate her, I don't. I do however feel disposable. What would have happened if Ares hadn't brought me back too? I'm staring directly at her, and I know she can feel it but she doesn't turn. I need a walk.

A cold wind is blowing off the ocean causing me to shiver. The moon is big and bright, lighting the beach up enough for me to see. I feel bad that the furies drove me to hurt Eve. I wish there was a way I could have fought them, but their torment is absolute. I kick at the white sand beneath me as a crab scurries back into the water. The ocean is surprisingly still, the waves are small and quiet. I walk until the fire is a pinpoint in the distance and I sit in the sand. All the heat of the day seems to have leached out of it, now it's cold but I ignore its chilling effect.

I close my eyes listening to the breaking and receding of the waves. The sound is a peaceful melody to listen to. I breathe. The salt air stings my lungs but it feels good. I know I need to forgive her, and I know I will, but I'm not sure how I'll accomplish that. Lying back in the sand I lace my fingers under my head. The calm sound of the ocean begins to lull me to sleep. I can worry about dying tomorrow. Right now I'm very much alive and very tired.

I drift in and out of nightmares, my body continually jerking me awake. As I come out of another hazy nightmare I can feel a presence beside me, and a blanket over me. Sitting up I see Xena sitting in the sand, knees tucked up against her chest as she stares out into the darkness. The moon is beginning its descent, but morning is still a few hours off. I wonder how long exactly she's been here?

'Sorry I fell asleep.' My voice sounds gravely. She doesn't move, doesn't say a word. Why is she here if she has nothing to say to me?

'Xena?' I touch her shoulder. Her head drops against her knees, the sound of crying is muffled by her body. I look at her and I've already forgiven her. I tug gently on her arm till she turns. Her eyes are red and full of tears. She still can't manage to say anything but she lunges at me, wrapping me in a hug as she sobs into my shoulder. My hands rub her back as I try to quell her tears. I know she feels guilty; I also know she loves me and would never hurt me on purpose.

I manage to extract her from my shoulder, placing my hands on either side of her face. I look into her eyes and I can see she's sorry, I don't need the actual words. I do my best to hold back my own tears, her sorrow seemingly leaching into me. I pull her towards me I kissing her lips then her cheeks, like I can make the pain go away. But then she has a sudden urgency about her.

Xena crushes me to her body seeking out my lips. The kiss is ravaging; desperate and hard. I can't breathe but she refuses to end the assault. Next thing I'm lying back on the blanket, Xena over me with eyes that seem to have an unearthly glow. She just stays propped above me, looking into my eyes as her chest heaves up and down. A single tear falls from her eye, hitting my cheek in its descent.

Her head bows as her lips find mine once again. It's softer this time but no less desperate. My arms wrap around her neck so I can pull her down to me. She migrates to my throat as her hands desperately push down the straps to my top. I pull my arms out as she pushes it down enough to expose my chest. The cold breeze causes goose bumps to spread across my body. Again she leans down, taking a nipple into her mouth and sucking. She doesn't stop till it's almost too much to bear, immediately moving to my other breast when she finishes. My hands are clawing at the back of her head as my body arches into her lips.

Roughly she flips me over onto my stomach, one arm wrapped around my waist. Her body slides against mine as her tongue trails up my spine causing shivers to race through me. As she reaches my neck her teeth graze across my skin. She begins to yank down my skirt, managing to pull it down in two movements. Her hands trail up the back of my thighs grabbing my exposed ass. Her arm hooks back around my waist and she yanks me up onto my knees, face pressed down into the blanket. She licks and nips at my ass, one hand snaking up my body grabbing my breast.

My hands clench at the blanket, as it muffles the scream she elicits as her fingers slide into me from behind. Her body is draped over me, her fingers moving in a tormenting pace. I can feel her breath hot on my back as she puts her whole body into her movements. I'm biting down on the blanket, trying to hold back the screams. An orgasm hits me and I can't hold myself up. I collapse down, the excruciating pleasure vibrating throughout my veins.

I'm gasping, trying to regain my grip on reality. Xena rolls off me, allowing me to fix my clothes and then curl back up against her. My head rests on her chest, her heart is pounding under my ear. She says nothing as she wraps her arms around me, kissing the top of my head. We stay here, unmoving until the sun begins to rise.


	9. Chapter 9

The Family 9

My ribs hurt, and I think a tooth is loose. I tried my best but it wasn't even close to good enough. I feel weak, like I can't protect her even if I want to. It makes me feel like an outsider, like I'm on the fringes watching.

I stumble my way back to the hut, blood still dripping from my mouth. Xena will save her; it won't even be a problem or a challenge. No, I don't feel sorry for myself, but I feel like I can't protect my family. I reach the hut and lay down on the bed. I don't even feel like cleaning the blood off or checking my ribs. I just need to close my eyes and let the time drift by till they get back. Xena will free her daughter; of this I have no doubt.

I wake up to fingers probing my face. I wince and try to jerk my head away. Xena is sitting on the edge of the bed, a wet cloth in her hand.

'She's fine, they both are.' She says without me even having to ask. I know she wouldn't be sitting here otherwise. She brings the cloth back up to my face and I hiss as she wipes it across my lip.

'Did you really have to do this?' When she asks things like this, I only feel inferior and belittled.

'Of course.' I push her away from me and stand up. Pain shoots through my body, and I wrap my arms around myself. I don't think my ribs are broken but they are definitely bruised. Xena is sitting there looking up at me. 'What?'

'You don't need to prove anything.' Yes I do. I shake my head at her; I guess she just will never understand.

'Xena I should be able to protect my family.' Her eyes drop down for a moment, then she stands, walking over to me.

'Gabrielle, you don't need to prove it.' Her hands clasp mine. 'You do so much more than that.'

'Still…'

'Nothing.' She brings her fingers to gingerly touch my cheek. 'There have been so many things that I could never have done if not for you. You know that.' Still…..

'Sometimes I feel like you'd be better off without me.' She gives a small laugh, shaking her head.

'Gabrielle.' Her hand runs through my hair. 'You're so much stronger than I could ever be.' She leans forward, her lips graze mine. 'It's my fault if you feel that way.' I start to shake my head but she interrupts. 'No. I don't always tell you how important you are to me, to Eve. You know I could never live without you.' Her sincerity can be disarming; it always manages to make me crack and give in to whatever she's saying.

'I'd hug you but it would hurt too much.' I try to smile but that hurts too.

'Let me look at you.' Her hands begin probing my body. When she reaches my right side I cringe away, trying not to let her hear the groan it elicits. Her head is shaking but she doesn't say anything. I know what she's thinking though.

'Well they're not broken.' Her eyes shift up to my face and she begins pressing her fingers under my eye. 'Looks like you're gonna be bruised for a while.' She starts wiping at my face again with the cloth. 'I've got something we can put on your cuts.' I watch her walk over to her bag and dig around. She pulls out a small vial.

'This is going to sting.' My jaw clenches tight as she starts rubbing the medicine on.

'Why does it always hurt?'

'Then you know it's working.' She chuckles. When she finishes I manage to wrap my arms around her waist, resting my head on her chest. 'Don't ever think you have to prove anything.' Her lips are pressed against the top of my head.

'I just feel that I should be able to do everything you do for her. I don't care if I die in the process because I at least will know I tried.' My eyes begin to water, but I try and hold back the tears.

'You're my family as much as she is. Eve loves you no matter what, you don't need to be a hero.' Sigh.

'Is it selfish of me to feel this way?' She kisses my head.

'No, it shows you care.' We stand in silence holding each other. After what seems like hours she pulls away. 'Come on, your daughter wants to see you.' Just because she says it doesn't make it true; but it does make me smile.

The End


End file.
